TALLAHASSEE, FL - Stressed out during a
long drive? Road hogs driving you up the wall? The Florida state government is
only too happy to help. The country's first highway drive-in massage parlor and
the South’s first brothels opened Monday, with the aim of reducing accidents by
easing tense muscles of stressed-out drivers. The parlors will be equipped with
automatic massage chairs and similar other facilities from "C"
Street.
"I hope highway
users will use these facilities, and with separate but equal facilities for the
gay and lesbian communities, I think I covered all the bases," Governor
Rick Scott of The Sunshine state, said.
Owned and operated by Wal-Mart,
the first massage center/brothel along I-95, the government was planning to
license a number of centers this year.
Hundreds of thousands of
Floridians and many others commute along a web of highways daily, but accidents
- and deaths - typically rise during festive occasions when millions descend to
the Boca Raton Beach areas and major cities during extended holidays.
Scott in an
interview stated, “Look, I have to find a way to get re-elected… hell, Jim and
I will be their first customers, guess where? Together in the same bed as we
always are! And, for your information, this is Tea Party and Republican
family value's issue.”
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